I have a new alarm clock

Peter Pan Baby woke me up this morning with his tiny kicks/flutters.

No problem waking up at 7am today :)

19 weeks

1) Weighed myself this morning and I am seriously shocked by my weight. It's currently at 58.2kg. I've put on 1.4kg over the past week! Eeek! Why the sudden weight gain? I've been eating as per normal.

The only thing I can think of is this one day that I helped myself to 6-8 pieces of Arnott's cream cookies (yep, at one go) that was too good to resist. But that was it.

Total weight gain so far: 4.2kg

Approximate calculation below:
1st trimester: 1kg
12 weeks - 18 weeks: 1.8kg
18 weeks - 19 weeks: 1.4kg

But 1.4kgs in 1 week?! Seriously shocking!!


2) I used to feel Peter Pan Baby's movement on my lower right side but since last nite, it has shifted to the lower left side. He probably flipped over to the left.

(And I really hope he's a leftie because Peter Pan Daddy and I are both lefties so can you imagine if Peter Pan Baby turns out right-handed? Who's gonna help/teach him to write?!)

I sometimes feel something rising and when I touch that part of my tummy, it's actually hard. And when I rub it, that part sorta goes down and softens. Peter Pan Daddy reckons it's Peter Pan Baby's head. Fun stuff yo!


3) I went for a haircut on Sunday and apparently I have a case of dandruff.

The guy that was blowing my hair asked me why do I have dandruff like I freaking know why I have dandruff? It's not something that you would go looking for on your own ok?!

I was a bit agitated by that question but since I'm trying to maintain my 'easily annoyed' hormones these days I told him that I'm pregnant and he said it's probably due to hormones.

He asked me to take care of my hair as heaps will fall off after giving birth. So not looking forward to that. I already have an emerging bald spot.

Last nite, I went to the shop that sells hair care products at a lower price compared to salons/malls and decided to purchase the Kerastase shampoo & conditioner.

The current brand that I'm using right now is Joico and I kind of can't stand the smell. Makes me a little nauseous everytime I smell it in the shower.

Not that it stinks, it's just me. I still feel nauseous whenever I smell certain stuff.


4) I can't really stand oily food again. Especially fried noodles. Recently I've been leaning towards fishball soup noodles.

Pasta is still my all-time favourite. But it has be the ones that are cream or tomato-based.


5) I realise that my belly button is now halfway reaching the top. It's still inwards but it's slowly rising up and outwards *gulp* geli-nyer!!


6) I can't cross my legs for long nowadays. After a short while, I will get pins & needles.


7) My feet might have grown bigger slightly (or swollen maybe? Not too sure) because when I wear my flats, I can feel that they are a little tighter than usual.

I tend to wear slippers more often these days. My friend asked me the other day what shoes do I wear to work nowadays and I told her slippers. She was shocked. Aiyo, people pregnant yo!

She said I might not fit into my heels anymore even after giving birth as my feet may be too swollen. Thanks. I feel so much better. Hehe. But no worries. Anything for Peter Pan Baby!


8) I still feel very tired and sleepy all the time. Each morning is a serious battle to wake up at 7am.

But during weekends, I tend to wake up at around 10-11am. I can't seem to sleep past noon anymore.

But will need an afternoon nap during the weekends though.


9) I can't take really sourish juices anymore i.e. orange juices that are on the sour side; lime juice; lemon juice - it will cause really bad heartburn.

Chilli causes heartburn too but somehow I just can't quite give chilli up altogether. But have replaced meals that require chilli sauce with ketchup instead.

The other day I bought a mcChicken meal and asked for more tomato sauce because I thought that the boy would better understand what tomato sauce is as opposed to ketchup but he ended up giving me 4 packs of chilli sauce instead. So I was like "you don't have ketchup ah?". Then only he replaced them with packs of ketchup for me. Oh the irony of the people in our country.


10) Whenever I have the urge to pee, I would need to go immediately. But the pee would only be a little bit. And I'm not dehydrated because I do drink a lot of water. So where does all that water go to??


11) My fingers are getting kinda fat too. I have this ring that I used to wear on my middle finger because it was too loose for my fourth finger but now it leaves practically a scar on my middle finger and fits perfectly on my fourth finger.


That's all I can think of for now.

Will be on leave this Friday as it's my birthday weekend. Peter Pan Daddy's going to bring me to Universal Studios, Singapore just to look see because I'm too chicken to go on those adventurous rides and plus I'm pregnant.

Hope I can find cute baby stuff to buy for Peter Pan Baby! Can't wait! :)

I never fail to smile...

... whenever I feel a bloop (small kick sorta?) from Peter Pan Baby.

I can be stressed, angry, upset, emo etc. but once he gives me a tiny bloop, it automatically lightens up my mood.

I keep telling Peter Pan Daddy that it feels weird. Like an a-l-i-e-n is inside of me.

And I usually spell out the word a-l-i-e-n when I tell Peter Pan Daddy because I'm worried Peter Pan Baby might be offended if he hears me calling him that (if he can hear us that is).

Better to be safe than sorry rite?

Anyhoo, a-l-i-e-n feeling or not, the bloopy feeling is... words just can't describe it. You'd have to have one on your own to really know what I mean :)

Over the weekend, I went back to get this cloth thingy for cleaning the baby's mouth:

I thought it would cost around RM10+ but it's freaking RM33.50 OK! I know we should just use a normal cloth instead but look at the bunny again! Too cute to resist!

Anomaly scan postponed...

Went for the usual check-up today at 18 1/2 weeks. I thought that we would be doing the anomaly scan (detailed scan done from 18-22 weeks to check for organ defects) today but ended up we have to see another doctor for it.

Our doctor at Prince Court Hospital was like "Oh, you want to do the scan?" when Peter Pan Daddy asked him about it. I thought it was sorta a scan everyone needs to go through, no?

Well, we decided to go ahead with it anyways. Not that it's going to change anything if we find out anything but at least we can prepare ourselves and make sure 100% that Peter Pan Baby is A-ok!

So we'll be going back in 2 weeks to see a Fetal Maternal Doctor that does the scan for a full 20-30 minutes.

Meanwhile, we did the normal scan and Peter Pan Baby is growing right on track. He weighs approximately 260 grams and is head down.

Doctor said that it'd be good if he stays in this position until we reach full term as this is the best position to deliver. If he shifts position the very last minute, then it'd be hard to get him outta there.

Whatever it is, I hope that Peter Pan Baby is comfortable head down as I keep thinking that all his body weight is putting so much pressure on his neck so isn't that a wee bit uncomfortable? But I will always remember Peter Pan Daddy telling me that Peter Pan Baby's floating in there.

And up until now our doctor still can't see Peter Pan Baby's gender. He reckons it's a boy from the last visit but wasn't sure and today, he even used the 3D scan but Peter Pan Baby's legs were closed. Apparently Peter Pan Baby's closed position today is worse than the last visit.

So it's a good thing we found the doctor at Tawakal Hospital :) A big thank you to GK for telling me about that doctor.

All is well for now. Our CD of Peter Pan Baby's photos today is being burnt by them as there are a few files so we can only get it back in 4 weeks (our next check-up) hence no new photos of his progress at the moment.

But I did see tiny bubbles - not sure if Peter Pan Baby was blowing them but nevertheless, he's the most miraculous thing I've ever saw in my life (not that I'm suaku never seen other ultrasounds before but it somehow just feels different when it's your own - especially him being inside of you).

And I need to state this - yup, I've jumped onto the bandwagon of talking non-stop about baby stuff. Now I fully understand why first-time mothers are this excited. I'm slowly becoming one of them. But I shall pace myself to not become so obsessed with it. All that matters is that the baby is healthy & normal (and *koff* superbly cute pls).

P/s: I also asked the doctor about getting a flu shot for the prevention of H1N1 but he said that since it's relatively new, he wouldn't know how safe it is for pregnant women. He suggested that IF I were to get H1N1 only then treat it. Other than that, just drink plenty of water and keep clean.

Will be on leave

Will be on leave tomorrow as the area at work right behind me is undergoing some form of mini renovation.

First they tore off the old carpets which caused the place to be super dusty and then they had to even out the floor with that grinding machine which caused a fog. This happened on Tuesday and unfortunately I had to breathe it all in (apart from covering my nose with a tissue paper).

Then they started laying the cement on the floor and when I went into office yesterday, the smell was so strong that each time I turned a little, I could whiff a smell of it.

Today, they glued new carpets on and the smell of it was really really bad. I brought a mask and it only helped filter out the smell by say 5%? It got so bad that even when I exited the office door to go to the toilet, I could still smell it.

The smell is on the whole eff-ing floor!!! I could only remove my mask when I was in the lift.

I really am so worried that all the dust and glue smell would affect Peter Pan Baby somehow that I have decided to shift my scan next week to this week instead. I really hope nothing's wrong with him.

Us complaining to higher Management didn't help one bit. She even suggested to other colleagues of mine to take leave like what I did.

First, we are getting killed slowly then we have to use our own annual leave to save ourselves. Can things get more absurd? I'm really speechless.

On another note, I had a really spicy lunch today. I decided to tapau capati since it's been ages I tapau-ed from the indian uncle and he's always been real friendly to me and my colleague.

So I took the usual - 2 pieces of capati (ok not so usual-lah because I used to eat only 1 before I was pregnant) flooded in fish curry and I seriously mean flooded ok because I was worried that it might not be enough for 2 pieces so I kept scooping curry into the styrofoam box + tofu fried with chilli + 1 sambal hard-boiled egg.

So guess which hero has heartburn now? One guess only.

*gulps down hot water*

18 weeks

1) Weighed this morning: 56.8 kg (gained 2.8 kgs so far)

2) Still look fat rather than pregnant:



3) Don't have much appetite still. But do try to eat during meal times. And whenever I feel a gastric forming.

4) Wounds take ages to heal. I scraped my knee and had a paper cut on my finger weeks ago and until now, both still aren't completely healed.

5) Don't pee as often but when I gotta pee, I REALLY gotta pee! Only wake up once or twice a night nowadays as opposed to 2-3 times in the first trimester.

6) Will have lower backache each time I wake up from a long sleep. Upper back mostly hurts after work.

7) Still feel bloops each night when I lie down. Sometimes little mini bloops when I'm sitting at my desk at work.

8) I get easily annoyed these days. Especially at work. I keep wanting to punch this guy although he doesn't piss me off everyday but just one of those feelings and probably him being his gross self contributes to it too.

9) Am still very tired & sleepy. Once I reach home, I would want to sleep straight away but of course I try not to because that would mean wasting my nights away. But I do spend a good amount of time sleeping each weekend. I seem to be able to only last 2-3 hours max outside then I would need to go home to sleep. I hope Peter Pan Baby would be a sleepyhead too! :)

10) Will be doing my 20-week scan next week and I'm real nervous. Please pray for me that all is and will be ok.

Dear Lord, please be with us and watch over us always. I pray that Peter Pan Baby is healthy & normal and that this pregnancy will be a breeze for the both of us. I also pray that there are and will be no complications and that I can bring Peter Pan Baby to full term. Amen.

Baby shopping weekend

We started looking at baby stuff last weekend for Peter Pan Baby as many of my friends advised me to do so now before I get really huge.

So here are our first few purchases from Bangsar Village....

There was this new shop called Adams Kids (I think it's new?) and we bought Peter Pan Baby monster bodysuits:



Then we went to Toys R Us to get some toys for Peter Pan Daddy's niece's birthday and I ended up purchasing the below:

- nasal aspirator & nail clipper (damn cheap. I saw a nail clipper at Bebehaus going for RM50!!) -

- some disposable multi-use pads that can be used for burping, changing & feeding since I foresee I'd be quite lazy to wash hankies often *ahem* -

On Sunday we went to check out Mothercare at BSC. Wow! That place has really lots of cool stuff! I even found this:

- Baby bather -

I first saw this on some girl's blog from Singapore and I thought that we couldn't find it here in Malaysia but Mothercare has it!!

You just need to lay your baby on the chair as the chair has tiny holes for the water to go through when you splash him with water :)

So there, we don't have to get a bathtub already and we did confirm this with the kakak at Mothercare too hehe.

Also, we got Peter Pan Baby the below sleepsuits:


They're long sleeves and have little covers at the ends of the sleeves to act as mittens. So cute right?

And that's all we bought so far. We still have a whole long list of more expensive items to get *gulp*

My episode with piles

Tuesday night I think I had a bit of constipation. I was trying real hard to go in the toilet and just as I pushed out a hard stool, I think it kinda scraped my skin.

And so I was bleeding. As in each time I wiped, there was blood on the tissue paper.

It didn't stop on Wednesday so I decided to take leave on Thursday to go see the doctor and perhaps get a cream for my pile.

I already had the small little pile before pregnancy and I wasn't sure if the hard stool aggravated the pile or it was just my skin that got scraped.

Anyhoo, my usual gynae isn't at Prince Court on Thursdays so I went back to the terror doctor at Tawakal Hospital.

The night before I was kinda hoping that the doctor wouldn't ask to examine my pile/butt but on Thursday morning I decided to clean myself thoroughly just in case the doctor would really want to examine there.

When we went into the doctor's room, he asked us why we were back so fast as it was only a 1-week gap since we last saw him.

I told him that I just needed to get some cream for my pile and he asked me if it was bleeding and I told him it was and then he straight away went like 'let me see'.

I straight away burst out laughing out of embarrassment and the doctor was like 'what's so funny about a bleeding pile?!'.

Ok ok, people nervous-lah what?

So as I laid on my side on the bed of humiliation, the doctor was looking through around the butthole area and kept saying 'pile? nothing also?' and finally when he found the tiny pile, he flicked it and went like 'oh! this one'.

He practically flicked it ok? Like a deflated balloon.

Sigh.

I was beyond embarrassment.

And there he could still ask me whether I wanted a pill to be stuffed up my butthole or a cream to apply instead.

I mean what could be more humiliating than a doctor flicking your pile? Him inserting a pill into your @sshole!

So I chose the latter.

And Peter Pan Daddy is suppose to help me apply the cream as I can't see the pile on my own. So that's what husbands are for.

After flicking the pile episode, Peter Pan Daddy could still ask to view Peter Pan Baby. More moments of embarrassment to endure in that room.

But after seeing Peter Pan Baby on the screen (although he was in an awkward position head down but doctor said nothing to worry about), I don't mind getting more piles flicked just to ensure that Peter Pan Baby is alright.

I love you Peter Pan family!!! *muacks*

Peter Pan Baby

So a few people have been asking me why I named this blog 'Peter Pan'. The story is like this...

When I went for my usual check-up at 15 1/2 weeks, I was hoping that my gynae could already see whether it was a boy or girl.

But as he was scanning, he told us to give him 1 more month to confirm.

This didn't affect Peter Pan Daddy one bit as he didn't want to find out in the first place saying that he wants to keep it a surprise. Me on the other hand, who is dying to get that pink Juicy Couture baby bag cannot wait to find out.

So the week after that, I kept researching for other doctors that could view the gender at an early stage and even asked one of my friends where to do the 3D scan.

She gave me the contact at Sunway Medical Centre and when I called, they didn't want to take me in as I was only 16 weeks plus. She told me to come back around 23 weeks for the scan instead.

Like that I might as well just wait for my own doctor to confirm right?!

Anyhoo, last Friday, I woke up with a really bad diarrheoa. Then at work, it changed to watery diarrheoa and it didn't help that I had heartburn too.

So my colleague told me about her friend that went to this gynae who was able to tell her friend's baby's gender at 15 weeks! Damn terror or what this doctor!

So since I was having diarrheoa like mad, and I needed to get an mc, I decided to go see this terror doctor who is attached with Tawakal Hospital.

Woah, that hospital is damn dodgy can? It's like a row of shoplots converted into a 'hospital'. Super old school.

There is actually a new building behind it and apparently that's where the new Tawakal Hospital will be at so I guess they finally realised they had to upgrade huh?

Anyways, as I arrived at the Tawakal gyane's clinic, (oh btw, no need to book appointment one apparently it's all walk-in) they asked me to take a urine test.

And this urine test is damn gross because the nurse asked me to pee into this urine cup that was sitting on their toilet basin and mind you, it was already wet when I picked it up thinking they probably rinsed it before I went in.

So after pee-ing, I screwed on the cap, opened the toilet door and the nurse was already standing right in front of my face. She asked me to unscrew the cap, then she dipped this strip thingy into my urine and then asked me to dispose off the urine and wash the cup!!!!

GROSS OR NOT YOU TELL ME?! Prince Court Hospital actually uses a brand new urine cup each time and there this Tawakal place reuses their cups and it's not even sterilised ok! Just rinse with running water from the tap *faints*

Anyways, urine test story aside, when I went in to see the doctor, he was a very nice man - old but patient. He asked me to go onto the bed and started scanning.

Then he asked us whether we already know the gender. I already warned Peter Pan Daddy before we went in not to burst my bubble about wanting to know the gender so he kept quiet and I answered, 'no, can we know now?'. And the doctor told us, 'of course!' and asked one of his student nurses to guess the gender.

And tah-dah...

- it's a boy -

So bye bye pink colour clothes. Bye bye pink colour Juicy baby bag. Bye bye pink/purple toys.

Hello blue and Thomas the Train.

And the doctor said he was 100% sure of it. And the reason why he's that terror is because his machine is 4D (ooooooo).

Since we already found out the gender, we were going through names that night online.

When we came to the alphabet 'P', I saw Peter and went like 'PETER PAN!'.

Peter Pan Baby can be 'Peter Tan' (pronounce the 'Tan' as 'ten' in a hongkie accent and we're good to go!) which rhymes with Peter Pan.

But obviously his real name isn't going to be Peter :) We already have a name in mind and until a better one comes along, we're sticking to the one we are both ok with.

So that's where my inspirasi came about to name this blog. And now you all know why 'Peter Pan'.

17 weeks

Today, I am 17 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Update of the 2nd trimester so far:

1) I stopped eating tom yam noodles after week 13 and don't crave them anymore. In fact, I find them too oily now.

2) I am still tired and sleepy. The crap about 2nd trimester being your most energetic period is seriously crap (for me that is).

3) I've recently developed pregnancy rashes on my tummy area. It comes and goes. Doesn't itch. Some dots especially near the belly button do hurt at times but it's just the skin area hurting.

Initially I thought that it was due to me eating seafood which caused an allergic reaction but my doctor told me that it's pretty common and can get quite ugly for some women. Which makes me think twice about taking photos of my belly.

4) I look more fat than pregnant. My tummy is bigger at this point in time now. Actually I just realised that it was pretty huge last night after dinner. I drank a few bowls of soup so I guess the bloatedness added to the image.

I didn't think that I'd be this big until after the 5th month at least. I do hope that I won't get too big. I know now isn't the time to be vain but I secretly am. Which is also why I haven't been taking photos of myself pregnant.

5) I have gained 3kgs so far. I started out at 54kg and am now hovering between 56.7-57kg. And I don't know how accurate this reading is because I always weigh myself in the mornings when I'm less heavy and without clothes on.

6) I started getting heartburn. Initially I thought it was gastric because it kind of feels the same but that's just absurd as I keep eating so how can it be gastric right? So I guess the next best thing was to diagnose it as heartburn.

But of course I did confirm it with my doctor and he gave me some medication for it. Until today, whenever I have heartburn, I still do not take the medication. Just a bit wary about taking medication while I'm pregnant.

7) Passing motion has been ok for me so far (I think) and I'm not sure if it's due to the Anmum Materna milk that I've been taking because it says on the box that it helps 'sembelit'.

8) I've stopped taking my folic acid pills as the doctor prescribed me this pre-natal vitamin called Obimin Pluz. Apparently it has everything in it. 1 pill kao tim liao.

9) I started feeling flutters around 15 weeks. Like a butterfly flying around inside my tummy. Then it sorta changed to a bloopy feeling from 16 weeks onwards. It feels like what my friend described it - porridge boiling - bloop bloop bloop but the bubbles don't burst type of feeling.

I usually feel the bloops at night when I'm lying on my bed watching tv. Peter Pan Daddy has felt a bloop already. It happens sometimes quite frequently at one go at the same area so I'm not too sure if Peter Pan Baby is hiccup-ing or actually kicking/moving.

Or if I'm just imagining stuff and it's really gas bubbles.

10) My nails have been growing at super fast speed. And I still have my gel nails. And this is the only thing that I wasn't able to give up so I did consult my doctor first whether it was safe to continue filling my gel nails.

Normally I would go for gel filling every 4 weeks but recently it has become 3 weeks. I can't state the same positiveness about the strength of my nails though as my toenails have been chipping quite frequently.


Well, that's all I can think of for now......

My memories of the 1st trimester

Many changes with the body. And also mentally.

People say you become more weepy during pregnancy but I can't really comment on that because even pre-pregnancy I was already a crybaby. So let's just leave that point out.

Other than that, I realised I started getting nauseous. I couldn't stand the smell of anything! My mom's perfume; any type of food smell and I really had no preference for food.

As in I couldn't make up my mind what to eat for meals even when I felt hungry.

People had morning sickness, mine was evening sickness. Each night as I was about to go to bed, I'd feel like vomitting. But so far throughout the 1st trimester, I only puked twice.

The evening sickness kind of worked for me as I preferred to feel sick at home rather than at work.

During the first few weeks of the first trimester I was only alright with tom yam noodles I don't know why. Other food were like so-so, ok ok, or no, not at all.

I hated beef. And I still do at this point in time because I just tried the spaghetti beef bolognaise last weekend and felt a bit sick after. So I guess McDonald's has lost me as a loyal customer for their double cheeseburgers.

I couldn't take oily food. I missed shark's fin deeply and I kind of had it only once a week as opposed to whenever I wanted.

Funny how I used to be a fan of ice-cream and cakes but ever since I got pregnant, I don't really fancy them anymore. I even passed on gelato when Peter Pan Daddy had his share. I guess that's great in a way that I don't put on those extra calories :)

My skin became really dry. My arms had tiny bumps that were gross to touch or brush against. My legs had flaky white skin and some parts turned blotchy red. I don't usually use body moisturisers but ever since I became pregnant, I had to invest in them.

I've started using the Nivea night whitening body milk as one of my friends commented that I looked darker. Does pregnancy cause your skin to turn yellow/dark for no apparent reason?

My lower abdomen area on both sides were hurting throughout the first trimester. I always thought it was 'it' happening but I guess my body/ligaments were stretching to accommodate Peter Pan Baby.

Backache was and still is persistent. I can sleep for the whole day and still wake up feeling like I've just chopped down a tree.

I can't imagine how my back would feel like when I get bigger in the next few months.

Tummy was bloated 24/7. My friend told me to get a good look at it one last time because I will never see it that size again.

I kept pee-ing every hour. And that led to some of my colleagues speculating whether I was pregnant.

Let's move on to hair:

1) Hair on the head is damn ugly now. My black roots are growing and I can't do anything about them as it is unsafe to dye your hair during pregnancies. I mean that's what I heard.

However, my hair gets oily less quickly and when I shower, I don't seem to shed that much hair compared to pre-pregnancy days. Good stuff! :)

2) Hair on eyebrows and underarms grow at a slower (and I really mean slowwwwwwwwer) pace. I'm real happy with this as I don't need to pluck them that often anymore and since I'm pregnant, I can't go for my IPL underarm treatments either. Plus point of being pregnant woohoo!

3) Hair near my belly button area suddenly appeared outta nowhere. I seriously do have Winnie the Pooh's tummy. Big and furry that is.

4) Hair on my legs - I never had any, but I realise a few strands emerged *yikes*.

Also, a few pantang things here and there but none of them bother me that much except a tiny one: I'm not supposed to watch ugly, ghostly, gross movies.

I seriously miss horror movies. It's getting kind of boring watching romance and comedy shows only.

Well, that's all I can remember about the first trimester for now. I've been kind of forgetful these days so I must say that the above list isn't that all complete.

But whatever it is, I am now embracing my 2nd trimester with a brave heart *stands up tall*

:)

The first visit and beyond!

We went to see the gynae for the 1st time when I was 4 1/2 weeks.

The doctor said that it was too early to tell. And asked me whether I did a pregnancy test. Of course-lah if didn't I simply psycho myself that I'm pregnant meh?

I told him yes, I did. And he asked me how many tests did I take, when did I take them, why do I really think I'm pregnant (hello!!) etc. etc. if don't believe me just do a scan-lah haiyor.

And so he did. A transvaginal ultrasound though. And it felt a bit painful and geli because he was swerving the stick here and there to find whatever that he was looking for.

And while he was still swerving the stick, he said he might need to do a blood test to confirm as he couldn't see anything. Just when he said that, he found the sac.

BUTTTTTTTT... he found a retroplacenta clot too. I don't know specifically what it is but the doctor told us not to get our hopes up too high as that clot may affect the placenta from functioning.

So it was basically a 50/50 chance of the pregnancy continuing.

My weeks were ruined after that. I was super down thinking of the worst case scenario (which I always do just so in case if it really does happen, I am prepared for it); reading stories about others with clots; hoping; praying; discussing with friends; weeping to Peter Pan Daddy and kept asking him 'what if?'.

It wasn't helping that I was spotting/bleeding too. Each time I went to the toilet and when I wiped, there would be brown stains on the tissue paper.

Sometimes, it was light red dots and it really freaked me out seriously.

Then fast forward-lah ok because I didn't record the stats down and I really can't remember heee heee heee - I think approximately around 7 or 8 weeks, there was more blood on the tissue paper like period dark type of blood and it took me a few wipes before I could clean myself up.

I totally panicked and already told myself, this is it. It was a Saturday afternoon and our gynae only works half days on Saturdays so we tried calling his handphone but it was switched off.

Then we called the hospital hoping that he would still be there but he wasn't. Bummer.

I felt kind of hopeless but the hospital was super efficient as they asked us whether it was an emergency and yes-lah I would assume it's an emergency right I'm bleeding more than normal?

So they connected us to the doctor straight away and Peter Pan Daddy managed to speak to him. He told us to go in the next day (on a Sunday) although the clinic wasn't open but he'll be there to see us. Super nice of him ok!

The wait was excruciating. I couldn't sleep that whole Saturday or do anything else for that matter as I kept thinking how painful it'd be if 'it' happens.

But finally Sunday came. It was a matter of whether we'd leave the doctor's room happy or sad.

He told us that he doesn't have a magic pill for all this to go away or stop it from happening but all he could do was to do a scan and to see if everything's alright.

And IT WAS! Peter Pan Baby had a heartbeat already and the doctor kind of couldn't see the clot anymore so he assumed that the bleeding was due to the clot passing through.

- Peter Pan Baby at approximately 7-8 weeks -

I prayed so hard for it to be ok. I even prayed with my baptism candle (according to my brother the candle is only used to pray for things that you really need help with) and I guess the Lord has been watching over Peter Pan Baby all this while.

Thank you Jesus for the strength that you have given me so far. I continue to pray that You will watch over us and ensure that Peter Pan Baby and I will have a smooth pregnancy throughout and that Peter Pan Baby will be a healthy and normal (and if possible uber cute) child.

Amen!

Pregnant

So I think I should blog pretty often as I have a lot of catching up to do since the first day I found out that I was pregnant.

Peter Pan Daddy and I have always talked about having kids once we get married. He wants 3, I want 2. We haven't really agreed on the number but whatever it is we know that we will be real happy if we get even 1.

After our wedding last November, we started trying for a baby mainly because I want to be a young mommy (which totally fails because I turn 28 in approximately 17 days) and I was worried that I couldn't conceive as I've heard so many stories out there these days due to our lifestyle and eating habits.

So in January, on the 10th to be exact (and I remember this because Peter Pan Daddy went to buy 4D), it was the day that my period was due. But it never came. And my period usually is (or was) quite accurate - 28 days max it just happens.

I decided to take a pregnancy test - the Clear Blue digital one which PC handed over to me as she was already pregnant at that time.

It says to pee on the stick but being kiasu that I do not pee directly on it at a normal stream, I dipped it into a cup of urine instead.

And I even collected Starbucks cups for this purpose (yes, I was that eager to be pregnant).

So after dipping the stick, it says to leave the stick on a flat surface for approximately a few minutes before the results show and while I was still cleaning up after the cup of pee near the basin countertop, it suddenly flashed to this:

My heart stopped for a second because I wasn't even ready to read the results and there it was showing me a positive sign!

I quickly rushed out of the bathroom to ask Peter Pan Daddy to come take a look and both of us stared at it for a while.

I can't quite describe the feeling. I was so so happy! I was practically jumping and hugging Peter Pan Daddy although I wasn't quite sure what his expression was as I was too giddy from trying to process the thought that I am actually pregnant!

Then I quickly got Peter Pan Daddy to make an appointment with this gynae at Prince Court Hospital because a few of my former colleagues went to that gynae and apparently he got really good ratings.

I then slowly packed up the stick in its original packaging to dispose it off then turned to ask Peter Pan Daddy whether we should try another test just to be sure.

Yes, I need a lot of reassurance in life and even if a test is 99% accurate, there is still that 1% room for error.

So we tried another pregnancy test kit which shows either a positive or negative sign:

And that confirmed my suspicion of the first test!

Boy, was I beaming the whole day through that day.

And I thank God for this miraculous gift of lil' life inside of me that He has granted us.